My Day at the M.V.A.

C72. As I walked into the train-wreck that is the Maryland Motor Vehicle Association I performed a quick survey of the pain and suffering my mother and I were about to endure. For starters the line to get into another line stretched beyond the portable railings and well into another section of the MVA where I began my dreary wait. A quick check of my watch revealed the time was 3:10,  it was go-time. Surprisingly the 4 window kiosk worked with a chipotle-esque efficiency and I was being attended to before I knew it. The personable attendant asked what I needed, checked my papers, and just like that I was handed a ticket.

C72. That was the number on my ticket. Considering how fast this line moved I figured it wouldn't be long before they called my number. I was wrong. A glance at the high definition announcement board showed that among the A's and D's and S's and I's C32 was currently being served at counter number 17. I also noticed that while there were multiple counters serving customers whose tickets began in A or D there was only one serving C's, counter number 17. A second check of my watch revealed the time was now 3:30 and my mother and I found seats and began the wait. We both had brought books to read as we assumed it would take a while, despite this my mind started drifting after about 50 pages of David Baldacci's The Sixth Man and I started observing the other patrons. Some were asleep, some unwitting or simply unfortunate parents brought their kids who were crying, running around and simply irritating people whose already short tempers didn't need anymore pushing. Others were on their phones and iPads, but i really felt sorry for those who had nothing. Those who wouldn't fall asleep for fear of missing their number yet had nothing with which to occupy their time except to stare at the message board that had various advertisements and the occasional health/safety tip. I, for instance, learned that a rowing machine is one of the best exercise machines you could own as it increases cardio and works both the arm and leg muscles. Or that drinking and driving don't mix. Which I find hard to believe because I see tons of people every morning chugging away their starbucks lattes on their morning commute. But I digress.

So I slowly drifted back to my book and finished another 58 pages before they called number C71. The time now was 5:05, 35 minutes past closing time. I closed my book and sorted out all my various forms and made sure I had everything to streamline my time at the kiosk. I waited another 7 minutes for counter 17 to clear up and then, by the grace of God, we heard the announcement for C72. I woke up my mother and we eagerly made our way to counter 17. There, I explained to the attendant what we needed and gave him all the appropriate paperwork. Then we stood there. And after we were done standing we stood some more. The attendant continuously made various entries into his computer and after another 10 minutes of silence and the click-clacking of the ancient IBM keyboard the man finally asked for our payment and handed us our tags. We left the building and got home around 6 PM.

Should I apologize for wasting your time by making you read another mindless rant about the bureaucracy involved with cars? Nope as I will provide what most mindless rants lack. A solution. The glaring detail that irritated me and and many of my fellow patrons was there there were 20 counters. Logic dictates that there be 20 employees to man each counter to maximize efficiency and serve as many customers as possible.  It soon become apparent that common sense isn't all that common. Ten counters were unattended. Ten. That  is half of the total capacity of the MVA. By this and this alone we see that they are already operating at 50% below their maximum efficiency. Not taking into account their methods for serving the customers but by the numbers alone we see that they are 50% below where they could be. Its like buying a pair of shoes but only wearing one. Or like having a 4 cylinder car that only uses two. Complete idiocy that makes no sense. Yes, I understand that this would require paying more people but in the long run this is for the benefit of the MVA. Lets say they serve 500 customers a day and spend 15 minutes on each customer. That amounts to a total of
125 hours to split among 10 people. That becomes 12.5 hours of work just to service customers. That doesn't include any behind the scenes tasks such checking driver records,issuing letters for emissions and inspections / renewal notices etc. Now lets say they fill up all 20 counters with staff. That becomes 6 hours and 8 minutes of work per member. What that means is that its the exact some cost per hour but those 500 customers get served in half the time. Instead of disgruntled employees working long days they can end their days at 3. This will keep them happier and more personable to the customers. They also have the ability to now service more customers in a day and this will increase the MVA's daily revenue while reducing the amount of people who need the MVA's services therefore decongesting the MVA for the future.

Getting more people to the counter is one thing, streamlining what goes on behind the counter is another. The MVA is rather prehistoric in terms of technology. Still grappling with the creation of electricity, the MVA should accept my challenge to try and utilize bar codes. Close your eyes. You are at Costco with your parents. You have a cart full of groceries, over 30 items, you wait to pay while the cashier manually types in each item by name. Twenty minutes pass before the cashier tells you your total. Needless to say this is archaic and just plain stupid considering this technology has been around since 1948. So how do we implement  bar codes in our automotive beauracratic tasks? Simple. Assign a code for the top 10 most common transactions. Be they registration renewals, car titling, turning in tags or what have you. This way instead of searching for a list of programs and then clicking up the right one a simple scan is all you need. Additionally, have a barcode on all our drivers licenses. I have no clue why the MVA still manually enters in our 13 digit license numbers when a simple scan would save time and prevent errors. Then lets add a barcode on our car titles so a simple scan will input all the necessary information on the title. And then have barcode labels for forms! Instead of typing in your tedious VIN number have a sticker than you paste to allow the MVA to scan it. And labels for your drivers license number can be placed  when buying or selling a vehicle, so instead of the poor staff member entering in all the data by hand they can simply scan the drivers license numbers and then check to make sure all the signatures are accurate. In essence  bar codes do two things to make life easier: save time by taking mere seconds to do what a human would do in minutes, and second: eliminate the human error factor making sure all entries and transactions are accurate.

In summary, the MVA sucks. I pray that one day a trip to the local MVA or DMV is considered routine and  painless like 10 minute run to the grocery store for a bottle of milk instead of the yearly root canal it is today. Maybe they'll use my ideas, maybe they'll find something better or, and lets pray this doesn't happen, they don't change a thing. What do you think? Post your opinions in the comments section! And, as always, thanks for reading!